After I had this "oh wow" moment, I began to wonder what has brought me to this point. I know this moment had a lot more to do with than just a shower drain. LOL!! I came to the conclusion that it has to do with 1. my boyfriend and I moving into together and 2. how consistent Bryan has been with me, since moving in together.
When my boyfriend and I were long distance, it was hard to make any punishment really effective. Part of this has to do with nothing makes me feel more submissive than a spanking. And needless to say with my boyfriend living hundreds of miles from me it was pretty impossible to give me a spanking! When I am spanked I feel his authority. I literally have no choice but to accept the punishment that I deserve. Also spankings make me feel taken care of and feminine and loved. So not being able to conduct regular spankings due to long distance really slowed down the process of being submissive.
I am a pretty independent, strong willed, and stubborn women. Submission, even though it is what I want and crave, does not come easy for me and the long distance made it WAY harder!
I think the thing that has made me really submit to his authority; is Bryan becoming way more consistent with me. For example a few weekends ago, Bryan was out of town, during that time I broke two rules; Over drinking and forgetting to take my meds. When he came home, I threw two huge fits and was very disrespectful. Normally, Bryan would have just given me one big spanking to deal with them all. BUT this time I got spanked for every offense...so four spankings.. :/....and during the week I was really on a roll and continued to be sassy and break rules and for each offense he spanked. It was a lot of spankings in a week and I was pretty sore but a part of me love it! The spankings hurt and having to wait for some of them was no fun, but it felt nice to know that I would be taken to task for each offense. It made me feel secure and cared for. Also I was pretty good about submitting to each spanking and I tried to stay as still as possible....which is something I have been working on.
I think all of these things combined with having to do a task I HATE but still chose to do over getting a paddling really made me feel Taken in Hand and Submissive. I love it!