Thursday, August 8, 2013

Submission and Shower Drains Part Two!

This post is a continuance from my last post Submission and Shower Drains. To sum it up really quickly, I had my first OH WOW moment when it came to submission!

After I had this "oh wow" moment, I began to wonder what has brought me to this point. I know this moment had a lot more to do with than just a shower drain. LOL!!  I came to the conclusion that it has to do with 1. my boyfriend and I moving into together and 2. how consistent Bryan has been with me, since moving in together. 

When my boyfriend and I were long distance, it was hard to make any punishment really effective. Part of this has to do with nothing makes me feel more submissive than a spanking. And needless to say with my boyfriend living hundreds of miles from me it was pretty impossible to give me a spanking! When I am spanked I feel his authority. I literally have no choice but to accept the punishment that I deserve. Also spankings make me feel taken care of and feminine and loved. So not being able to conduct regular spankings due to long distance really slowed down the process of being submissive. 

I am a pretty independent, strong willed, and stubborn women. Submission, even though it is what I want and crave, does not come easy for me and the long distance made it WAY harder! 

I think the thing that has made me really submit to his authority; is Bryan becoming way more consistent with me. For example a few weekends ago, Bryan was out of town, during that time I broke two rules; Over drinking and forgetting to take my meds. When he came home, I threw two huge fits and was very disrespectful. Normally, Bryan would have just given me one big spanking to deal with them all. BUT this time I got spanked for every four spankings.. :/....and during the week I was really on a roll and continued to be sassy and break rules and for each offense he spanked. It was a lot of spankings in a week and I was pretty sore but a part of me love it! The spankings hurt and having to wait for some of them was no fun, but it felt nice to know that I would be taken to task for each offense. It made me feel secure and cared for. Also I was pretty good about submitting to each spanking and I tried to stay as still as possible....which is something I have been working on.

I think all of these things combined with having to do a task I HATE but still chose to do over getting a paddling really made me feel Taken in Hand and Submissive. I love it! 

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Submission and Shower Draines

So last night was the first time I have felt a 100% submissive to my boyfriend and a clogged shower drain was the catalyst to this submissive state! Who knew!?

Before I get into the story, I would like to give a little background of my relationship and our dynamic. We have been together for fours years and have been practicing a Dominate/Submissive dynamic for a little over a year. Last summer I was reading 50 Shades of Grey and I found it so hot and I could not get it out of my mind! I thought about it/fantasied about it so much about that I finally brought it up to my boyfriend and he was totally down to engage in a D/s dynamic. When we first started out, the relationship was more of a BDSM dynamic but it has slowly evolved to more a Domestic Discipline dynamic. The end of April 2013, my boyfriend and I moved into together! YAY! I love living with him and living together has really fast-forwarded the process of getting more comfortable in our roles and our dynamic! Which I also love!! 

                                     Where it all began!

So back to the shower drain....I have long thick dark hair and as much as I love it, I DO NOT love how easily the shower drain gets clogged! I HATE HATE HATE cleaning it out! I have a weak stomach and gag super easily so it makes it extra hard to do dirty smelly chores, liking cleaning out a drain. Anyway the drain was clogged again and my boyfriend informed me that since he cleaned it out last time and it was all of my hair that was clogging the drain, I had to clean the drain. I said, "No!" "I refuse to do it!" He replied "I think my paddle feels different and if I have to stand here and paddle you the entire time I will do it and you will clean the drain" GREAT! Well things came up and we got busy and I kept making excuse not to do it and basically just hoped that he would forget! Well that ended last night. My boyfriend told me that the drain better be cleaned out before he got back from work tomorrow or there would be hell to pay..UH OH! He than said "you could just do it now and be done with it." For the first time...LOL...I stopped and thought....I really have no choice, either I clean out the drain or get paddled. Since I didn't want to end up in this position AGAIN, I decided to clean it right then and there with his help/ threat of the paddle as encouragement!

So I know you are probably thinking, "Good for you. you did what you were told!", which I totally understand! However, for me this was huge. This was the first time that I realized, I either obey or face the consequences. No other choices. Before when my BF would tell me to do something or I would get spanked, I wouldn't take the threat seriously. I figured he would forget or I could talk myself out of it. This was the first time that I realized he will not forget and I cannot talk him out of it. I REALLY have to clean the drain! It was the first time that I realized, I have to clean this drain or faces the consequences because 1. I agreed/promised to obey him 2. I agreed to face the consequences if I did not obey and 3. All of this is what I want. This was the first time I have ever had that thought process, and it helped me to not only submit but want to submit. So I decided I can do it now and not get paddled or I can not do it, get paddled, and then still have to do it. I made the submissive decision and decided to  do as I was told. You know what? If felt great to finally submit fully to my love.

So in Love!

I had even more realization about myself and submission last night, but I fear this post is getting to0 long so I will do a part 2 tomorrow! 

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Week of Punishments!

Its been a minutes since I have had a chance to blog. I have just been super busy with school and work and I have spent A LOT of time over my boyfriend's knee. :/

It really has been the week of punishments. To being with my boyfriend was out of town last weekend and I decided to spend the whole weekend playing and drinking with my friends. Well one night I went over my limit and just drank WAY too much!! That earned me my first spanking! After that it was like I just decided to push it as much as possible. I broke multiple rules and was super sassy and disrespectful. My boyfriend has needed to blister my bottom every day this week....Needless to say I am sitting on a pretty sore bum. 

I think a lot of the sass and bad attitude came from PMSing and the stress from having a finale. (In law school, usually one comprehensive, closed book, three hour exam determines my whole grade.) We have talked about it and decided that even though I may not be able to control my emotions/hormones, I am still responsible for my actions and if I don't behave I will get paddled. Which I 100% agree with! I know I cannot control my hormones but I also don't want them to get the best of me. We also decided when its "that time of month" I will get a little reminder spanking every day to help me stay on track. I really think it will help and may even save my poor behind from a worse spanking! 

I am hopeful that this week will be better and that I will spend a lot less time in this position. :)